Tell Me Your Dream Wedding Savings Story and Win $1,000

by Stephanie

2 comments

1 danitakl { 12.08.08 at 12:39 pm }

Hi Stephanie,

I am so excited to tell you about my savings. I hope I can help fellow brides with my story. We had our Dream Wedding the afternoon of October 25th. Surrounded by 165 guest. With your help I saved over $18,000!

We had postponed our wedding for a couple of years because I did not think I could afford the wedding of my dreams. We had been engaged for almost 3 years and dating for a total of five. We did not want to wait any longer. I just needed a coach and that is where you came in. After reading your news letters and your e-book, I knew we could do it, if we followed your suggestions. I knew every penny had to count. I had to keep track of everything. I really had to prioritize.

I became a Dream Wedding Diva! This came easily for me. I knew exactly what I wanted and thanks to you exactly how to get it! I was armed with the 3 Cs, Certainty, Confidence and Conviction AND my 3 ring binder! No more being a “good girl”.

We stared with the guest list. Like you recommend. We did not want money (or the lack there of) to dictate our guest list. We did not invite any one because we “should”, like the snobby elderly couple I have lived next door to for over 11 years. We were not going to get caught up in all of that. If you were there it was because you were important to us and us to you.
With the guest list complete we could go from there. You are so right about doing this right away.
This gave me the information I needed to be able to plan successfully.

We decided on a budget of $8000. Without a budget I do not know what I would have spent. Everything adds up fast. It was going to be tight, knowing what type of wedding I wanted. Talk about champagne taste on a beer budget. Thanks to you I was very aware of the “creeping budget”. I had faith it would all work out.

I set my savings goal at $10,000. I ended up saving over $18,000! I made saving a game. It is amazing what you can do armed with the proper information.

As a Dream Wedding Diva I knew I had to prioritize! What is important and what could we do with out? I knew the more things we did not have, the more money I could spend on the important things. It was not important to us to leave in a limo. I could care less if I had pew bows, bubbles or bird seeds. I did not have to have new shoes. The cake did not have to be a traditional wedding cake. Richard could wear his black suit, it was day time for crying out load. These savings added up and allowed us to spend more money on things that were important to us, like the food. I wanted to have great food. I am still getting compliments on the food. I believe you called these Trade Offs:

Not buying new shoes saved $65. When is the last time you have ever seen a brides shoes? That is really just part of the hype, making brides think they have to have the “Gracie” bridal shoes. Looking through my closet I found a gold pair I had only worn once. They are very comfortable and pretty. They worked perfectly.

Not having bubbles/birdseed,or pew bows or a wedding cake knife/server, etc saved at least $100.
We knew we would not be leaving before our guest, so there was no need to have bubbles/birdseed. If we had left earlier, I had instructed my maid of honor to start clapping as we left. It ended up we stayed until the last guest left. The church is beautiful I did not want pew bows or anything to take away from it’s beauty. The church had a beautiful silver cake knife and cake server. Why would I even want to use any thing else?

By not renting a limo we saved $150. If for any reason we had left early, we have a friend with a Jag and he was prepared to exchange cars for the night.

Not serving alcohol saved $420 (a quote for wine from a liquor store). We first thought we “should” at least serve wine. We don’t drink. We don’t serve it in our home. Not to mention it was an afternoon wedding reception with a stringed quartet.

We saved $327 by not having the traditional wedding cake. We bought 3 regular 3 layered cakes. We placed them on pedestals of varying heights. We bought 2 extra sheet cakes. They were decorated beautifully and were delicious! I was very happy with the results and I am still getting compliments on how good they tasted. They were Italian cream, our favorite.

We saved at least $100 on the Groom’s Attire! Richard already had a really nice black suite and shoes. It was an afternoon wedding, no reason to rent tuxes that actually look more like suites now days any way. We bought matching ties for everyone that tied in nicely with the colors. All the guys looked great.

I knew if I was going to make this happen I had to learn to NEGOTIATE AND COMMUNICATE! Say what you mean and mean what you say. My experience is most vendors do not listen well. They do what they think is appropriate and recommend the typical. You have to make sure to repeat back to them what you heard them say. I can not tell you how many times what they heard/said and what I heard/said were different. I had one caterer split hairs over some things she did not “remember” saying. Well, we had it all in emails that I had saved.

With the guest list complete and a decided budget, I set out to talk to another caterer. I knew what my budget was and exactly what I wanted. I was hesitant because this was a friend. I knew she was very expensive. I thought you will never know if you don’t ask. She was happy to negotiate the price. She
told me by having the wedding and reception in the afternoon I had saved an additional $800. I saved a total of $1875 on catering. All because I asked.

My brain was primed for saving. You are right when you say to “prime” your brain. When you get focused on wedding savings/bargains you can find all kinds of things. You never know what you may find and where. I found a beautiful bird cage for the gift table at a salvage store (for building supplies) of all places. Much nicer and way cheaper than anywhere else. It made a nice centerpiece and a great place to keep the cards. I borrowed things from a friends, like hurricane globes and candles. Shop around and do your homework.

Being a Dream Wedding Diva I was not going to be influenced by the wedding industry! The wedding industry is out to make money. Nor would I be bullied or intimidated into anything. I was not going to be embarrassed or feel like I should do things a certain way. It was OK to be practical and to stay with in a budget and my budget was NOT ridiculous.

I posted on a wedding blog all the help I was getting from my friends. I got shameful replies as if I were cheap. Most vendors would say things like this is your day, you want it to be perfect. You don’t want to have regrets, etc. Being the diva you taught me to be I never doubted my reality by buying into this nonsense.

An example; I talked to one caterer, when I told her I was just going to have 3 regular cakes and place them on stands of varying heights..she snarled and said “well the pictures of you cutting the cake are very important, you will have them forever. You will wish you had a beautiful cake”. I thought who’s wedding is it?? The cake was just not a priority for us. It did not matter to us that they were not stacked on top of each other.

It is our wedding. We did it the way we wanted to.

I knew if I was going to pull off my Dream Wedding I would have to ASK FOR HELP FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS !

Taking your advice I compiled a list of friends that had the talents I needed. I got so much help from my friends. There is no way I could have had a dream wedding with out their help. One friend volunteered to pick up the cakes from the bakery, one less thing I had to worry about. One of them was in charge of giving out the envelopes with thank you cards and/or payments. One of them found something blue. One loaned me her $10,000 diamond necklace. Another friend did a ton of research for me, which helped me save a bundle. The list goes on and on.

My very talented friends saved me nearly $10,000, which I have detailed below;

My friend Shelly and my client Libby are florist. They saved us $3000. Shelley bought the flowers from the local wholesaler. We saved a lot of money by using magnolia leaves from a neighbors tree and things they grew at home. Shelley said if she had charged me the labor alone would have been $3000 or more. These two women were angels to me. They seemed incredibly happy to be doing it for me.

My friend Michelle is a Hair and Make Up artist. She would have charged anyone else $1000. Michelle owns Brush, a mobile salon in Atlanta. She is well known for doing formal events on location. She did up dos and air brush makeup on the bridal party and my mother. She is such a dear friend and was so happy to do it for me as a gift.

My friends, Mary Ellen and JP did the music for the ceremony, saving us $400. Mary Ellen normally charges $200 for wedding ceremonies. My neighbor JP is a violinist,he normally charges $200. He and Mary Ellen are friends they did a beautiful job. They also seemed thrilled to be a part of our day.

My Friend Pattee did our Reception Music. She saved us $1000.
She plays music with 3 other ladies. She told them how important it was to her to do this for me as a gift. They normally charge $1000 for 3 hours of music. They did traditional Celtic songs, which fit with our Celtic theme. It was lovely!

Shanella did our favors, saving us $250. Shanella makes photo cards and only charged me what it cost her. We had a great picture of the Richard and I dressed up. We had the Serenity Prayer printed on it. The Serenity prayer is significant to us.

Jane, Kim and Angela hosted our rehearsal dinner, saving us $525. We were going to have the rehearsal dinner at local restaurant. These ladies got together and told me if I would buy the food they would prepare it for us and have it waiting after the rehearsal at the church. Then they helped us get the banquet room decorated for the wedding. They were so much help. I don’t know what I would have done with out their help.

Linda steamed my wedding dress. Saving me $50. Linda had a steamer and volunteered to steam the dress. That was so much help since there was really no time to have it done professionally.

Our friend Rice is a jeweler. I had a lot of old gold he melted down and made into wedding bands. They are gorgeous Saving us $1000.

We saved $300 on the wedding coordinator! I had originally checked into a day of wedding coordinator, but later found out a lady in our church is a wedding coordinator. She did a fabulous job and did not charge a dime.

We saved at least $165 on programs. The church secretary made the programs. They turned out fine. She even used a Celtic cross which tied in to our Celtic theme. No charge.

You talked about BARTERING!

Richard and I actually took this to the next level by joining a trade/barter company, International Monetary Systems, imsbarter.com and saved literally thousands. He is a contractor and does remodeling. I am a hairstylist and own a salon. Bartering only cost us time. We also bartered with some friends.

We used barter for the Invitations, saving $490. I knew that this would be the first impression we would give of our up coming wedding. Having beautiful high quality invitations was very important to me. I was able to get custom invitations through the barter company, IMS.

We also bartered for the Linens, saving $650. It was very important to me for our wedding to be first class. I wanted crisp white tablecloths to the floor. I wanted beautiful overlays over the tables and cloth napkins. I was able to get them on trade also through IMS.

We spent out wedding night at the Marriot, another barter company, saving $200. The Marriot is part of the trade company IMS. It was a beautiful room with a jacuzzi tub.

We spent our “mini” moon in a Cabin rented on barter saving us $335. Another trade company through IMS. We are going to Ireland next spring, but wanted to go somewhere not too far away and somewhere on trade to save money. And a place
where we could prepare our own food to save more money. It was lovely, with a jacuzzi tub and a hot tub.

I bartered with my a friend for the alterations on my dress saving $275. My friend Gloria owns an alterations store. She was willing to barter her services for my services. I will be doing $ 275 worth of hair services.

We bartered with our Photographer $3000. The photographers wife, Roseann and I are great friends. They need some renovations done on a bathroom in there house. They worked out a trade with Richard.

Taking your advice I decided to look for a wedding dress on EBAY! I saved $995. There was no way I could afford to spend too much money on a dress with the budget I had. I had a dress in mind that I had seen in a magazine when we were first engaged. I found the same dress, a Pronovias on eBay for $325, including shipping. The original price with tax was over $1300. It would have never occurred to me to look on eBay for a wedding dress. Thanks!

Other ways I saved by being a Dream Wedding Diva!
We decided to join a church together when we became engaged. I am so glad we did. Not only did we have a place to get married that means so much to us, it is one of the prettiest churches in our community. As a result we saved a lot of money.

I had first checked on a beautiful historic house that rented for $1000. We decide to use the banquet room at our church for the reception site instead. Decorated the banquet room
at the church looked lovely. Our guest were pleased that they did not have to travel, especially the ones from out of town. The banquet room really accommodated the number of guest we had better.

The church provided Coffee saving us $206.25 Which the caterer said she charges $1.25 per person.

The church also has dishes and flat ware saving us the rental cost of $300. The church has beautiful crystal and silver. They have clear glass plates. They had almost everything we needed with the exceptions of the linens. If we had the reception else where we would have had to rent these things.

The state offers a $60 discount on the marriage lisence for couples that received premarital counseling. We received free premartial counseling through our church.

There are some things I would do differently. I hope this helps another bride. I would have asked for even MORE help. There were somethings I was running around doing at the last minute. If I had planned ahead I would have had someone doing these things for me. I would have started getting dressed an hour earlier. I felt rushed and anxious and could not relax while I was getting my hair and make up done. I would have done a time line for the wedding day. I wish I had planned more fun for the reception. I was way too focused on the big things I forgot about a lot of the little things. These are things that caused unnecessary stress.

Stephanie, my Dream Wedding was more than I had hoped or dreamed it would be. Our wedding was a fraction of what it would have cost if I had not known how to pull it off. Thank you so much!

2 Erica { 12.14.08 at 9:30 pm }

My Wedding Savings Story
By Erica DiNobile

My fiancé and I are on a pretty tight budget for our wedding, so we weren’t really sure how our day would turn out without spending a fortune. Lucky for me, I live right down the road from some pretty cool DJ’s, which I didn’t know until I went to my first bridal show last year. I recognized Stephanie from her early morning runs with her 2 dogs and so I introduced myself at the show. Shortly after, when my fiancé and I had decided on a venue, we booked Steph and Jeff for our wedding. I was excited to read her eBook in order to get some good savings tips since we were looking to have a very inexpensive wedding.
A lot of our savings occurred over the summer when we had done a great deal of planning, but recently there were a few tips I picked up on from Stephanie’s book that have saved us some cash. Although it might not be an exorbitant amount of money, every bit counts and adds up!
I had never given much thought to my choice of flowers and hadn’t done much research at all, so when I started flower ‘shopping’, I suffered sticker shock, as you might say. My favorite flowers are daisies, so I knew I wanted my bouquet to consist mostly of daisies with a few other wildflowers in the mix. Since daisies are fairly inexpensive flowers, I figured it couldn’t really amount to much. Boy was I wrong! I only went to one florist for an actual appointment and spoke to a very nice woman about what kind of bouquet I wanted to have. I spent about an hour with her going over what I liked, didn’t like and might possibly like. The estimate was a couple hundred dollars more than what my fiancé and I had budgeted, and this was for simple daisies! I couldn’t imagine what it would have cost had I wanted roses!
After receiving my quote, I spoke with friends and other brides that had been married recently, and did some internet research. Apparently, though higher than I anticipated, my quote was not too bad at all. Of my $800 quote, most brides said they paid much more (granted, they all ordered centerpieces as well, which I didn’t need). When I heard that, I decided I would try to do anything I could to lower my flower cost. After all, they are FLOWERS, which are hardly things that I can keep forever.
Lucky for me, Stephanie’s eBook came in handy! After considering fake flowers, or making bouquets myself with homegrown daisies, I discovered a tip that seemed pretty obvious after I read it – supermarket florists! Stephanie recommended going to wholesale florists or supermarket florist in order to save money. I can’t even tell you how many times I pass right by the floral department in Stop & Shop on my way towards the fruits and veggies and never pay it a second thought. Being a supermarket, I’m guessing many consumers feel that the flowers aren’t the same quality as those from a private florist, most likely since they are usually a lot less costly. I actually didn’t realize supermarkets even did wedding flowers, but they do and are truthfully a lot cheaper than the ‘not too bad’ quote I got from the florist. To be a little more exact, it’s about $400 cheaper! How’s that for savings!?
Though I haven’t set my design in stone for my or my bridesmaids’ bouquets, the package that is closest to my preferences at the supermarket is $350, not including a few of the bridesmaids’ bouquets. With the additional bouquets’ added in, the most I’ll end up paying for my flowers is about $450, which is $350 less than I was quoted by the private florist.
You might ask what I’ll do with that extra $350, but I have no intention of spending on something else for the wedding. After all, isn’t that was SAVING is all about!? It will probably go into our home improvement fund…. Like I said, it may not be thousands, but it all adds up!

In another chapter of Stephanie’s book, I came across a topic that had been haunting me since my fiancé and I got engaged – the guest list. We’ve been going back and forth for the past year, trying to decide who to invite and where to draw the line. For instance, should we invite that friend we grew up with but don’t talk to anymore? It’s extremely difficult to decide and it eats at me every time I glance at the list.
Stephanie makes a couple good points about the guest list and trying to please everyone. Until I read that chapter, I felt like a total brat trying to tell my fiancé he doesn’t have to invite the aunt he hasn’t seen in years, or the friend he grew up with that he hasn’t talked to since high school. However, I felt like I wouldn’t want someone there that I didn’t know, plus his/her date, who even he probably wouldn’t know. But Stephanie said a few things in her book that really stuck with me and made me realize I wasn’t being ridiculous:
First, you simply CANNOT please everyone,
Second, you don’t have to invite anyone that ever sent you an invite, and
Third, it’s your friends and family who you want to be there and if someone else ends up offended, it’s probably someone you didn’t want there anyway.
I felt so much better after reading that chapter, I went back to my guest list right away and changed the font color of those guests that I felt that we were inviting out of obligation. Ultimately, these are the names we shouldn’t invite, because it would interfere with our vision of our dream wedding.
I have to be honest here. Though I am the bride, I wasn’t incredibly excited about having a large wedding. I wanted something small and quaint, including those that were closest to us. However, my fiancé had a different idea, so I believe we compromised a little. We’re not having a huge wedding, but it’s definitely not small either. So after being enlightened about the guest list tips, I thought we could compromise a little more by cutting back our guest list and having a ‘medium’ sized wedding.
Our venue is charging us $56 per person for our wedding. After going through my guest list and determining those we added out of obligation, I calculated a savings of $1568 by cutting 14 names plus guests, which was actually 28 guests total. It may not seem like a lot in the grand scheme of things, but to me and my fiancé, that’s about 10% of our wedding costs! I’m still reading the book and am sure I will find many more ways to keep the savings coming!

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