Etiquette Wedding Shocker: No Gift Required!

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Wedding Etiquette Myths Exposed

A recent New York Times article, Wedding Bells’ Toll, explored the etiquette of wedding gift giving, an especially relevant topic in this recession.

How much are you supposed to spend on a wedding gift?

Ever hear this? “The amount of your wedding gift should match the cost of your dinner at the reception.”

MYTH!

According to Miss Manners this widespread rumor is completely false…as well as vulgar and crass.  Your wedding guests may give gifts according to their budget and closeness to you.

Rebecca Dolgin, executive editor of The Knot insists there is no gift requirement at a wedding at all.  While it’s “the right thing to do,” the only wedding event requiring a gift is the bridal shower.

Of course, Martha Stewart disagrees.  She insists that a wedding gift is absolutely required…but you have up to a year to give it and it can be something inexpensive and thoughtful, like a dozen white towels tied up in a white ribbon.

This catty back and forth reminds me of something.  Wait a sec, it’s on the tip of my tongue…

WEDDING ETIQUETTE IS TOTAL BS!

(Did I say that out loud?)

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m all in favor of generosity and the love of a marriage celebration is an awful good reason to shower gratitude, love and thoughtfulness on a couple.

But even the etiquette “experts” admit that there are very few formal rules.

Sounds like the perfect excuse to GIVE UP worrying about whether you’ve spent enough on your wedding favors, or if your guests will be offended if you skip them altogether.

They’re not even required to give you a wedding gift! In fact, wouldn’t it be cool to print that right on your invitations.

“Dear Guest, we don’t expect you to give us a wedding gift.  We love you enough that we’ve invited you to be a part of our special day and we’re already spending an arm and a leg to get you there.  We’ve decided to skip the wedding favors, too, so we’re even.  Just come to our wedding!”

I realize that bucking the etiquette trend isn’t quite that easy.  You’ve got a whole lot of deprogramming to do first.

My point is that even if you choose to subscribe to proper etiquette, don’t let it get you tangled up in knots. Your grumpy guests are going to find something to complain about anyway, and the ones who love you most will have a great time no matter what.

What’s your take on the etiquette of wedding gifts?  Leave me a comment.