Category — Advice

Question from a real bride:

“Hey Stephanie,

Hobrias Sudoneighm

Been shopping for your wedding dress yet?

Finding “the” dress is one of the most exciting things about getting married.  It’s also ripe for the RIP OFF.  Literally.

The biggest rip off…

Most bridal shops remove the labels from designers wedding gowns. This is illegal, by the way…a label is required by law to designate the designer, manufacturer or distributor according to the Federal Trade Commission.  Check out their article, “Unveiling the Truth About Wedding Dresses.”

If the label’s missing when you try on a dress..the bridal shop is breaking the law.

Bridal shops started pulling this literal “rip off” to keep you from finding a dress you love in their shop and buying it cheaper from a discount store online.  Instead of figuring out how to compete with the discount outlets, they rip off the evidence.  Many bridal boutiques also forbid the use of cameras so you can’t identify it on your own later.

Anything to keep you enslaved to paying higher prices.

Unfortunately, without labels it’s impossible to know for sure if the designer dress you’ve chosen was truly made by that designer. Some shops even trick brides by selling them sample or used dresses when they paid full retail price for a brand new one.

So what can you do?

I reveal all the details about the wedding dress scams to avoid and how to find your designer dress at up to 92% off in my book.  But here are some ways to fight back…

• Don’t buy from the bridal shop.  You can almost always find a better deal on the exact same dress somewhere else.  Try ‘em on, learn what you love…and leave ‘em high and dry.
• Check the ID number.  Shops are permitted to remove the original label and replace it with a store label that identifies the designer, manufacturer or distributor by ID number.  Copy down the ID number on the tag (if there is one) and make sure the designer is who they claim on the FTC’s website in the RN Lookup Database.
• If they won’t tell you the designer…don’t buy from them.  Take detailed notes on the design of a dress you like, including the silhouette, neckline, length, etc. and locate it online.
• Never pay cash and always get a receipt.  Read your contract carefully and make sure it has all the specifics written in clearly.

Don’t get ripped off!  It’s up to you to protect yourself and make the most of your money so you can plan the wedding of your dreams.

If brides band together and so NO to wedding rip offs maybe those bridal shops will finally wise up and start giving brides the service they deserve.

Got a wedding dress story, good or bad?  Leave me a comment.

Hoa Dang

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Set the wrong date and your dream wedding is TOAST.

I reveal the best Price Slashing Wedding Dates that can save you up to 65% in my book, but make sure you avoid these babies below at all costs.

If you pick a bad date your guests might not come (or your family could throw a fit!) you might pay higher prices, or you may not be able to book the vendors and services you really want.

Time for a real life example to show just how deadly picking the wrong date can be.

Jessica’s fiancé was Jewish. Unknowingly, Jessica set her wedding date smack dab in the middle of Yom Kippur.

Half of her fiance’s family couldn’t come and they were all very offended. On top of that, Jessica’s Maid of Honor got married the week before. Choosing a bad date caused stress, anxiety and nightmares that could have easily been avoided.

Check this list of 2009 and 2010 Wedding Dates To Avoid before you set the date.

Some less obvious deadly dates to consider:

• Any dates near other weddings in your family…unless you really want to share.
• College graduations, festivals, parades and other big events on your wedding weekend.  Prices are higher and hotels are booked way in advance.
• Any “unhappy” dates for your family: anniversaries of deaths, divorces, etc.

Your wedding date is a powerful weapon of savings…or an ax that can kill your party DEAD.  Take your time selecting the date that’s right for you.

How did you pick your date?  Leave me a comment.

Brandi Sims

If you’re a chatty girl…aka “Big Mouth”…you may have an advantage as a bride when it comes to getting a wedding discount.

Then again, ANY bride can do this.  You’ve just gotta be talking about the right stuff.  Make sure you download my free report to learn how to use the Bride’s Secret Weapon that will literally compel wedding vendors to offer you a wedding discount.

Here are a few pointers I adopted from this Lifehacker post Top 10 Tips For Talking Your Way Into A Better Deal.

1)  Use the 15-20% Rule. If you’re a newbie when it comes to doing the deal and you don’t know where to start, ask for 15-20% less than your absolute highest price.  (Of course, I know you can do MUCH better than that with a little Diva Dealing training.)

2)  Just ASK. Simply asking for a deal will get you a discount in 3 out of 4 cases.  Really!

3)  Learn To Use the Power of Silence. Know those uncomfortable silences?  Use them to your advantage in negotiations.  Make an offer and then SHUT UP.  Use the pressure of the uncomfortable silence to urge them into a deal.  Remember: he who speaks first loses.

4)  Buy At the Right Time. This is CRITICAL.  Buy your wedding dress in April-May or Nov-Dec for the best deals.  If you’re dealing with a salesperson who has a quote, buy at the end of the month because they’ll offer you discounts to make their monthly numbers.

5)  Commit To Your Maximum Price and WALK AWAY If You Don’t Get It. That puts you in control.

Got a bridal bargaining story to share?  Leave a comment.

lafa.com.my

In my last blog post, I talked about what to do if you get screwed by a wedding vendor.  But how can you avoid getting screwed in the first place?

QUICK NOTE: My book, The $10,000 Dream Wedding, reveals the essentials you need to know, the scams to look out for, and the common mistakes to avoid.  But here are some simple steps you can take to avoid getting screwed…

If you take the time to do your research beforehand, you’ll be able to avoid the courts later on.  You won’t have to worry about getting ripped off.

On the other hand, if you don’t do your homework before hiring you can get taken advantage of and then not have a leg to stand on in court.

Two Ways To Avoid Getting Screwed

1)  Hire Reliable Wedding Professionals With An Impeccable Reputation

• Ask for recommendations of family and friends who actually used their services personally.  Word of mouth recommendations are great…but only from people who actually hired the vendor.  “Friend of a friend” referrals are not nearly as reliable.
• Check the Better Business Bureau for complaints against the vendor.  Make sure your potential vendor has no complaints against them.
• Ask your local Chamber of Commerce for referrals.
• Ask potential wedding professionals for references and then CHECK THEM.  Keep in mind that they are only likely to refer positive references.  However, if you ask good questions you can often “read between the lines” and find out what they were like to deal with.

2)  Put Everything In Your Contract.

• Get everything in writing.  Spell out IN DETAIL the products and services you want.  If you want the DJ to play specific songs, list them in the contract or in an addendum.  If you want the photographer to take certain specific photos, write them in.
• Make sure your contract includes a “penalty” if the vendor violates the terms of your agreement.  For instance, you should get a 100% refund, including your deposit, if they cancel.  If a DJ doesn’t play every “Must Play” song or a photographer doesn’t take every “Must Take” photo, you should get at least a partial refund.  This provides a financial incentive for them to keep their word.
• Some vendors will resist this.  After all, they’ve written the contract to protect themselves…not you.  Simply tell them, “I’m very detail oriented.  I’d like to trust your word, but I feel much more comfortable getting everything in writing so that there is no misunderstanding.”
• If a vendor refuses to make the additions to the contract that you request…DON’T HIRE THEM.  You’re only asking that they provide a written guarantee of their verbal promise.  If they plan on fulfilling their agreement, why should they have a problem with making it official?

Money Back Guarantees

Some wedding vendors offer a Money Back Guarantee.  This is a smart way to reduce your risk.  The terms may refund all or part of the fee if they don’t fulfill their agreement.

You might also ask a potential wedding vendor if she would be willing to offer such a guarantee.  This way if the vendor doesn’t keep her part of the agreement, you’re protected.

You’re paying a lot of money for your wedding.  It’s up to YOU to protect yourself and make the most of every penny you’ve got. Follow these guidelines and check out my book for more details.

Got a question about protecting yourself when hiring wedding vendors?  Leave me a comment.

www.Fuseki.net

One of my recent brides just told me about her unfortunate experience with her photographer.  Take this as a warning.  If it can happen to a savvy, empowered woman like her…it can happen to you, too.

Here’s her story:

“[Our photographer] has been HORRIBLE to work with since the wedding.  The photos were not particularly good, but she also missed MANY shots that I had asked for (she asked us for a shot list and then didn’t abide by it)- including our first kiss at the church and there wasn’t even ONE shot of the groom by himself (she had to go back and crop me out of a photo so there would be a shot of him alone!).  Also, we were supposed to be getting a photo montage/video clip DVD set to music.  Well, it’s been 6 months, she’s sent 3 separate versions of the DVD and they are all horrible (video in the wrong format so it looks squished, using unedited photos with weird stuff in the background, zooming the pictures in on people’s chests instead of their faces), just terrible.

“Apparently she’d NEVER done it before and got in over her head (her own admission) and swears she’ll never offer it again.  She’s been very defensive and has not offered us a refund for the DVD project.  We’re still dealing with it.  I looked on The Wedding Coach for advice about vendor disputes, but came up empty.  Wanna do a post for me?!”

This absolutely sucks.  If you get screwed by your wedding vendor, what can you do?

It all comes down to your CONTRACT.

If you have specific terms in your agreement laying out the particulars of the product and service to be delivered, and the vendor violates the terms of that written agreement, you definitely have a case in court.

According to LegalZoom.com, you can sue for deposits, dissatisfaction or desertion. Dissatisfaction certainly applies in this case.

However, if your contract doesn’t specify exactly what the product must include, other than a general description such as, “2 copies of a DVD filming the introductions, first dance, toasts and parent dances,” your case is not as strong.  You’ll have to prove that the photographer did a job poor enough to entitle you to a refund.  If he did in fact deliver the product and it’s just not to your satisfaction, but it’s a “reasonable” performance, you could end up going through a suit in small claims court without much…if any…reward.

So what can you do?

1)  Express your dissatisfaction with the vendor clearly and specifically. Tell them you are unhappy with the results and exactly how you expect the vendor to fix it or issue a refund.

This bride has tried and failed to get her needs addressed this way, but it’s step #1.  Many vendors will fix the situation if given a chance because their reputations are at stake.  The fair thing to do is voice your complaint them first.

2)  Check your legal options. Did the vendor violate the terms of your contract?  If so, you have a case.  Write a letter to the vendor stating your complaint and the violated terms of your agreement, informing them that your lawyer has advised you to take legal action.  Ask the vendor again for the satisfaction you want (Example: a corrected product or a refund) and send it by certified mail.  Better yet, have your lawyer send it on her legal stationary.

You might also post a question on Just An Answer, a website that answers questions regarding consumer protection issues for a small fee.

If the vendor has not specifically violated the terms of your agreement or he does not respond to your letter, you’re not done fighting yet…

3)  Inform the vendor that you will be filing an official complaint against them if they do not give you satisfaction. Tell them specifically any and every organization you’ll be informing of your dissatisfaction.  Check out this great handbook, Settle Your Small Claims Suit Without Going To Court for details.

*Use the threat of these actions as “gentle encouragement” for the vendor to make things right.  But don’t take action until you are certain the vendor is not willing to resolve the issue, or you lose your leverage.

If they still do not respond, file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, The Federal Trade Commission and your local consumer protection agency.  Report your dissatisfaction to all your other wedding vendors and post your complaints on bride chat rooms like TheKnot.

4)  File a dispute in small claims court. Each state has its own small claims court system, so do a quick Google search for “file small claims in [Your State] for links to the websites and courts to contact.  It’s a relatively simple process.

You’ll want to gather any evidence to prove your case, along with any witnesses.  Records of transactions may be helpful, such as:

• Cancelled checks, money orders, sales receipts.
• Bills, contracts, estimates, leases.
• Letters.
• Photographs.
• Other documents proving your claim.

Then let the courts do their work.  And please, don’t forget to file official complaints with consumer protection agencies so that you can save future brides the agony and stress that you’re going through.

The best way to avoid getting screwed is to put everything in your contract before the problem comes up. More on that in a future blog post…

Got a vendor dispute story?  Leave me a comment.

Jonathan Goforth

Some things are so worth fighting for.

I get asked this question all the time:

“What do I do if a wedding vendor just won’t deal?”

QUICK NOTE:  Learn the four psychological tactics that let you turn the tables on wedding vendors and literally compel them to give you discounts in my free Bride’s Secret Weapon special report.  It’ll get you half-way there.

If you ask for the discount…if you play by the rules of my “Price Slasher Game”…3 out of 4 wedding vendors will slash their price.  But what if it STILL isn’t in your budget?

Well, it might be time to pull the ole “Cash In Your Pocket” discount.

Ask the wedding vendor if they would be willing to reduce the price if you pay in CASH.

I’m not giving accounting or legal advice, but for some strange reason wedding vendors LOVE to get paid in cash.  And many times they’ll offer you a discount if you can fork over the green.

If paying cash is an option for you, don’t be afraid to try it with every purchase…after you’ve already gotten a hefty discount, of course.  It’s easy, fast and fun DIY Discounting 101.

But what if you STILL can’t make the price work for your budget?

If you’re committed to staying in the budget you set…it’s time to move on, cowgirl.  You CAN and WILL find another vendor willing to provide what you want at the price you can afford.

Don’t let yourself get too attached to any one vendor.  There are a lot more fish in the sea.

The key to getting high-end wedding products and services at bargain basement prices is being committed to your budget…meaning you’re willing to walk away. That’s when the magic happens because you MAKE it happen.

In this video, Bubba offers some helpful advice about what to give as a wedding gift. Yep, Bubba’s etiquette wedding suggestions include beer, scantily clad “negligie-things,” and more BEER. And make sure it’s cold.

Funny, right?

Um, not if Bubba is one of your wedding guests.

So how can you tactfully ask for money as a wedding gift?

According to Miss Emily Post…YOU CAN’T.

If you ask for money right up front, it’s considered offensive, tacky and selfish. But that hasn’t stopped many a bride from finding creative ways to get the green.

Check out these “poetic” requests from Love Of Poems:

“This wishing well before you here
Has a purpose that’s pretty clear.
Please drop some dough into the slot,
Please don’t skimp…make it a lot!
We would think it pretty nifty
If you could give at least a fifty.
After all, it cost us lots of money
To plan this day and our moon of honey!”

“Don’t worry about gifts, don’t buy us a yacht,
The things that we need, we’ve already got.
Our home is quite compact, we may have to move
Then our storage and space will surely improve.

Don’t know how to word this but we’ll give it a shot.
Contributions are most welcome, we’ll go somewhere hot!
A honeymoon would be marvellous, to start off our life,
In our long winding journey, as new husband and wife!”

Now that I’ve stopped laughing…honestly, what would you think if you read that in your invitation?

My RSVP might look like this:

“You ask me for money
An ‘innocent’ plea
How about some manners?
And NO GIFT from me.”

There are some ways to offer “gentle encouragement” for money gifts…

- Set up a very short gift registry, primarily with gift certificates, for those who prefer to give a gift. When the registry fills up, guests will ask your family and close friends what to get…have them suggest that cash would be most appreciated. They can circulate the news for you, so you don’t look bad.

- Set up a honeymoon gift registry like Honeyfund so that your guests can help pay for your honeymoon.

- If you’ve got the guts for it, don’t set up a registry at all. Your lazy guests will write you a check. Of course, your cheap guests may practice a little re-gifting…

Got a tactful, subtle way to ask for wedding gifts of money? Leave me a comment.

Photo by Allerina and Glen MacLarty

Imagine the morning of your wedding…

You wake up at your home, excited and maybe a little nervous.  Today is the day!  Your bridesmaids arrive, everyone shrieking in excitement.  Your hair stylist and makeup artist show up and start getting you ready.  But your girls are rummaging through the house looking for hair spray and safety pins, yelling out, “Where do you keep this?” and “Do you have any…?” every five minutes.  You keep getting interrupted because you have to play hostess.  Then, your aunt and uncle who are visiting from out of town pop in with donuts for breakfast.  You’re interrupted again.  Your blood pressure goes up.  The photographer arrives to take a gorgeous photo of you and your wedding gown…except the girls have dumped their stuff all over the living room and bedroom.  The whole house is a mess.

It’s chaos.

The big mistake most brides make that leads to a stressful wedding day is not considering the environment you get married in.

If you start your day in a loud, chaotic, hurried environment…it casts a shadow of ANXIETY over your entire wedding day.  On the other hand…if you feel calm and relaxed, you’ll project an inner radiance that stays with you all day long.

You owe it to yourself to pick the right location to get ready in.  It has a HUGE impact on your happiness and well-being on your wedding day…and it’s often overlooked.  Here are 3 tips to choosing the right environment.

1) Choose a relaxing, inspiring environment to get ready in.  Ideally, this should be outside your home so you don’t get distracted by hostess duties.  YOU should be the one everyone caters to…not the other way around.  Your location should have lots of natural light and neutral colors that complement your gown.

2) Get ready in the room with the most natural light.  Clear away any clutter…those Precious Moments figurines on the mantle, the dozens of family photos…and simplify the decor.

3) Do all your cleaning and de-cluttering BEFORE the wedding.  You don’t want to be rushing around, jamming things into closets on the morning of your wedding.

For more insider tips on planning a stress-free wedding, check out this link.  I don’t hold anything back in my eBook!

Photo by Michael "Mike" L. Baird bairdphotos.com

After reading the article “Eight Tips For Killer Wedding Pictures” by Hillary Harvey in Chronogram magazine, I wanted to some professional tips for getting the best wedding photos EVER.

1)  Add Extra Time To Get Ready - Allow extra time for hair and makeup.  Tell your hair and makeup artist that you need to be ready 1 1/2 hours before the actual time.  This way, you can relax and enjoy the day with your bridal party…instead of rushing around to get to the ceremony on time.  More time is ALWAYS better than less, and getting ready usually takes longer than you think.

2) Edit Your Must Take Photo List - While you should certainly have a list of Must-Take photos, you DON’T want to have to sit through endless formal portraits.  Write down the shots you “must” have…then pare it down so you can enjoy your day.

3) Consider Your Lighting - Good lighting is essential for great pictures.  If you want your outdoor wedding portraits to be gorgeous, consider the position of the sun at the time of day you’ll be taking pictures.  Avoid the mid-day sun if possible, and schedule your formals for before sunset.  Consult your photographer for help.

4) Don’t Forget To SMILE - Even when you’re nervous, do your best to smile.  Smiling is always more photogenic than a serious look.

5) Overcome Your Nervousness - If you freeze up and get nervous in front of the camera, focus your gaze on the photographer’s trigger finger instead of the lens.  This creates a flattering “angelic” angle.  If you are self-conscious about a body part, ask your photographer for posing tips to minimize your “flaws.”

6) Have An Engagement Session - One of the best ways to feel more comfortable during the photo shoot on your wedding day is to have your photographer shoot your engagement photos.  You’ll get familiar with how your wedding photographer works…and have the added excitement of seeing their work beforehand.  When you’re comfortable and having fun at your photo shoot, you’ll be radiant and happy in the photos.  If you’d don’t like your photographer…well, it’s gonna show.

What are you doing to guarantee unforgettable wedding photos?  Leave me a comment.