Category — Groom

Ryan Ward

Is your FI becoming a…GROOMZILLA?

All is not lost.  Your wedding-obsessed guy might just win you a free honeymoon.

Check out The Great Groomzilla Search.  Just make a short video of your Groomzilla showing himself in all his wedding control-freak glory and you could win…

First Prize -A 4 Day/3 Night stay at one of 12 luxury Sandals hotels

Second Prize - $1500

Third Prize - $1000

What have you got to lose?  HURRY - Contest ends April 17, 2009.

You might find yourself wishing you had a Groomzilla.  At least he’d be involved!

How do you get your groom involved?

Well, there’s a difference between having an involved groom and a “groom on assignment.”

I run into the “groom on assignment” all the time.  He’s calls up and gives me his wedding date and wants to set an appointment.  But when I ask him even the most basic question about the day he says, “Uh, I’ll have to ask my fiancee.  She’s really in charge of the planning.”

That groom is NOT involved.  He’s an errand boy.

If you really want him involved, ask your guy which part of the wedding process he’d like to help with.  Then let him take charge of it.  Really.

The last thing you need is another thing on your list you have to “delegate” and then check up on…and nag about…to make sure it gets done.

Let your groom be in charge of it and let him run with the ball.

If you don’t quite trust your groom’s sense of style (his idea of “decorating” is popcorn balls and beer tabs on a string) let him do the legwork for you and then make the decisions together.

Do you have a bonafide Groomzilla on your hands?  Leave me a comment.

Photo by Julie Rigsby

I’ve got a question for you, and please answer it honestly…

Is your fiance as involved and excited about your wedding as you are?

I’ve worked with hundreds of couples.  It’s true, I’ve seen a few grooms who were as active in planning the wedding as their brides (one even had his own wedding binder!)

But for the most part, he isn’t nearly as excited as his bride.  In fact, he seems a little…distracted…uninterested…even bored.

So how do you get him involved?

Follow these 4 steps to an involved groom.

STEP 1 Take the time to understand him. Your fiance probably thinks he is already more involved than the “average” groom.  He’s listening to you, right?  And he’s going to meetings with you?  He helped you with the guest list?

As brides, we’ve been dreaming about our wedding for years.  He hasn’t.  All of this is new to him.  Take a moment to think about it from his point of view.

STEP 2 Ask him what parts of your wedding he’d like to be involved in. Instead of giving him assignments that he may resent and do poorly…meaning you have to do them AGAIN, let him pick how he wants to help.

He WANTS to be involved, but he feels insecure and uncertain of what to do.  If you force it on him, he’ll likely run the other way.

STEP 3 If you want his opinion on something, ask a specific question. Guys are really good at “hunting” for solutions: you ask the question, they take aim, fire, and “kill” it with a quick solution.  Women prefer to “gather:” we shop for options, discuss the choices, take our time, then reach a decision.

Since weddings are not something he’s familiar with, if you ask him a question like, “What do you like for as a wedding theme?” or “What wedding flowers should I choose?” you will likely NOT get a helpful response.

Instead, ask him something specific, such as, “Which do you like better: the hydrangeas or the roses?”  He’ll be able handle these questions without feeling overwhelmed.

STEP 4: Listen to what he has to say. When he DOES respond, acknowledge his opinion and thank him.  DON’T say, “Are you serious?”…Even if his idea is totally clueless.

When he shrugs and says, “I just want you to be happy,” in response to your question about which invitations to choose, what he really means is, “I don’t know anything about invitations, so I don’t feel like I can give a good answer.  But I DO care about you and making you happy on your wedding day.”

When he doesn’t have an opinion, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care.  It means he TRUSTS YOU and your judgment.

QUICK NOTE:  For more tips on how to get your groom involved, check out Chapter 10 of my eBook on Getting Your Fiance Involved.