Stephanie Rose Knows Dream Weddings

www.Fuseki.net

One of my recent brides just told me about her unfortunate experience with her photographer.  Take this as a warning.  If it can happen to a savvy, empowered woman like her…it can happen to you, too.

Here’s her story:

“[Our photographer] has been HORRIBLE to work with since the wedding.  The photos were not particularly good, but she also missed MANY shots that I had asked for (she asked us for a shot list and then didn’t abide by it)- including our first kiss at the church and there wasn’t even ONE shot of the groom by himself (she had to go back and crop me out of a photo so there would be a shot of him alone!).  Also, we were supposed to be getting a photo montage/video clip DVD set to music.  Well, it’s been 6 months, she’s sent 3 separate versions of the DVD and they are all horrible (video in the wrong format so it looks squished, using unedited photos with weird stuff in the background, zooming the pictures in on people’s chests instead of their faces), just terrible.

“Apparently she’d NEVER done it before and got in over her head (her own admission) and swears she’ll never offer it again.  She’s been very defensive and has not offered us a refund for the DVD project.  We’re still dealing with it.  I looked on The Wedding Coach for advice about vendor disputes, but came up empty.  Wanna do a post for me?!”

This absolutely sucks.  If you get screwed by your wedding vendor, what can you do?

It all comes down to your CONTRACT.

If you have specific terms in your agreement laying out the particulars of the product and service to be delivered, and the vendor violates the terms of that written agreement, you definitely have a case in court.

According to LegalZoom.com, you can sue for deposits, dissatisfaction or desertion. Dissatisfaction certainly applies in this case.

However, if your contract doesn’t specify exactly what the product must include, other than a general description such as, “2 copies of a DVD filming the introductions, first dance, toasts and parent dances,” your case is not as strong.  You’ll have to prove that the photographer did a job poor enough to entitle you to a refund.  If he did in fact deliver the product and it’s just not to your satisfaction, but it’s a “reasonable” performance, you could end up going through a suit in small claims court without much…if any…reward.

So what can you do?

1)  Express your dissatisfaction with the vendor clearly and specifically. Tell them you are unhappy with the results and exactly how you expect the vendor to fix it or issue a refund.

This bride has tried and failed to get her needs addressed this way, but it’s step #1.  Many vendors will fix the situation if given a chance because their reputations are at stake.  The fair thing to do is voice your complaint them first.

2)  Check your legal options. Did the vendor violate the terms of your contract?  If so, you have a case.  Write a letter to the vendor stating your complaint and the violated terms of your agreement, informing them that your lawyer has advised you to take legal action.  Ask the vendor again for the satisfaction you want (Example: a corrected product or a refund) and send it by certified mail.  Better yet, have your lawyer send it on her legal stationary.

You might also post a question on Just An Answer, a website that answers questions regarding consumer protection issues for a small fee.

If the vendor has not specifically violated the terms of your agreement or he does not respond to your letter, you’re not done fighting yet…

3)  Inform the vendor that you will be filing an official complaint against them if they do not give you satisfaction. Tell them specifically any and every organization you’ll be informing of your dissatisfaction.  Check out this great handbook, Settle Your Small Claims Suit Without Going To Court for details.

*Use the threat of these actions as “gentle encouragement” for the vendor to make things right.  But don’t take action until you are certain the vendor is not willing to resolve the issue, or you lose your leverage.

If they still do not respond, file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, The Federal Trade Commission and your local consumer protection agency.  Report your dissatisfaction to all your other wedding vendors and post your complaints on bride chat rooms like TheKnot.

4)  File a dispute in small claims court. Each state has its own small claims court system, so do a quick Google search for “file small claims in [Your State] for links to the websites and courts to contact.  It’s a relatively simple process.

You’ll want to gather any evidence to prove your case, along with any witnesses.  Records of transactions may be helpful, such as:

• Cancelled checks, money orders, sales receipts.
• Bills, contracts, estimates, leases.
• Letters.
• Photographs.
• Other documents proving your claim.

Then let the courts do their work.  And please, don’t forget to file official complaints with consumer protection agencies so that you can save future brides the agony and stress that you’re going through.

The best way to avoid getting screwed is to put everything in your contract before the problem comes up. More on that in a future blog post…

Got a vendor dispute story?  Leave me a comment.

mary-lynn on flickr

Planning your honeymoon can be so much fun!  More fun than planning the wedding, sometimes…or so I hear.

Your honeymoon is the light at the end of the (somewhat stressful) tunnel of planning your wedding.

But how do you know where to do?  Which are the best honeymoon destinations?  Where should you stay?  What should you do?

Can you really trust your travel agent?

Enter these new free websites for planning the best honeymoon.

Tripsay - A free social travel network.  You tell Tripsay where you’ve been and what you like, then it automatically recommends destinations for you to check out.  You can link up with other travelers like you and read their real, unbiased reviews.  And it’s free!

Trip Advisor - Browse reviews and recommendations from travelers across the world.  Learn the most popular destinations and top island travels spots.  Trip ideas as well as restaurant and hotel reviews.

Fly - A totally simple search engine that makes it easy to compare flights from multiple sources.

When planning your honeymoon, remember this advice I keep harping on:

Consider the source. Ask yourself, “What’s in it for THEM?”

I can tell you which honeymoon destinations are paying the biggest commissions to travel agents…without talking to a single one…just by asking my couples where they plan to go.

One year it was Riviera Maya Mexico.  Then it was St. Lucia.

All these couples were headed for the same honeymoon.  Was it because they had the same taste in vacations?  Because they were irresistibly drawn to the same locations by some magical force?

NO.  Those travel agents were steering them in the direction they wanted them to go.

Use your head.  Do your research.  Plan the honeymoon of your dreams.

What’s your dream honeymoon?  Leave me a comment.

gesika22 on Flickr

Wedding Etiquette Myths Exposed

A recent New York Times article, Wedding Bells’ Toll, explored the etiquette of wedding gift giving, an especially relevant topic in this recession.

How much are you supposed to spend on a wedding gift?

Ever hear this? “The amount of your wedding gift should match the cost of your dinner at the reception.”

MYTH!

According to Miss Manners this widespread rumor is completely false…as well as vulgar and crass.  Your wedding guests may give gifts according to their budget and closeness to you.

Rebecca Dolgin, executive editor of The Knot insists there is no gift requirement at a wedding at all.  While it’s “the right thing to do,” the only wedding event requiring a gift is the bridal shower.

Of course, Martha Stewart disagrees.  She insists that a wedding gift is absolutely required…but you have up to a year to give it and it can be something inexpensive and thoughtful, like a dozen white towels tied up in a white ribbon.

This catty back and forth reminds me of something.  Wait a sec, it’s on the tip of my tongue…

WEDDING ETIQUETTE IS TOTAL BS!

(Did I say that out loud?)

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m all in favor of generosity and the love of a marriage celebration is an awful good reason to shower gratitude, love and thoughtfulness on a couple.

But even the etiquette “experts” admit that there are very few formal rules.

Sounds like the perfect excuse to GIVE UP worrying about whether you’ve spent enough on your wedding favors, or if your guests will be offended if you skip them altogether.

They’re not even required to give you a wedding gift! In fact, wouldn’t it be cool to print that right on your invitations.

“Dear Guest, we don’t expect you to give us a wedding gift.  We love you enough that we’ve invited you to be a part of our special day and we’re already spending an arm and a leg to get you there.  We’ve decided to skip the wedding favors, too, so we’re even.  Just come to our wedding!”

I realize that bucking the etiquette trend isn’t quite that easy.  You’ve got a whole lot of deprogramming to do first.

My point is that even if you choose to subscribe to proper etiquette, don’t let it get you tangled up in knots. Your grumpy guests are going to find something to complain about anyway, and the ones who love you most will have a great time no matter what.

What’s your take on the etiquette of wedding gifts?  Leave me a comment.

Ryan Ward

Is your FI becoming a…GROOMZILLA?

All is not lost.  Your wedding-obsessed guy might just win you a free honeymoon.

Check out The Great Groomzilla Search.  Just make a short video of your Groomzilla showing himself in all his wedding control-freak glory and you could win…

First Prize -A 4 Day/3 Night stay at one of 12 luxury Sandals hotels

Second Prize - $1500

Third Prize - $1000

What have you got to lose?  HURRY - Contest ends April 17, 2009.

You might find yourself wishing you had a Groomzilla.  At least he’d be involved!

How do you get your groom involved?

Well, there’s a difference between having an involved groom and a “groom on assignment.”

I run into the “groom on assignment” all the time.  He’s calls up and gives me his wedding date and wants to set an appointment.  But when I ask him even the most basic question about the day he says, “Uh, I’ll have to ask my fiancee.  She’s really in charge of the planning.”

That groom is NOT involved.  He’s an errand boy.

If you really want him involved, ask your guy which part of the wedding process he’d like to help with.  Then let him take charge of it.  Really.

The last thing you need is another thing on your list you have to “delegate” and then check up on…and nag about…to make sure it gets done.

Let your groom be in charge of it and let him run with the ball.

If you don’t quite trust your groom’s sense of style (his idea of “decorating” is popcorn balls and beer tabs on a string) let him do the legwork for you and then make the decisions together.

Do you have a bonafide Groomzilla on your hands?  Leave me a comment.

Ollie Crafoord

One of the cornerstones of planning The $10,000 Dream Wedding is avoiding “wedding” products and services as much as possible.  As soon as you even whisper the word, “wedding,” the price goes UP, UP, UP.

Once bride recently asked me this question about saving on her wedding cake:

Kate Weber

Derek Rose

Jonathan Goforth

Some things are so worth fighting for.

I get asked this question all the time:

“What do I do if a wedding vendor just won’t deal?”

QUICK NOTE:  Learn the four psychological tactics that let you turn the tables on wedding vendors and literally compel them to give you discounts in my free Bride’s Secret Weapon special report.  It’ll get you half-way there.

If you ask for the discount…if you play by the rules of my “Price Slasher Game”…3 out of 4 wedding vendors will slash their price.  But what if it STILL isn’t in your budget?

Well, it might be time to pull the ole “Cash In Your Pocket” discount.

Ask the wedding vendor if they would be willing to reduce the price if you pay in CASH.

I’m not giving accounting or legal advice, but for some strange reason wedding vendors LOVE to get paid in cash.  And many times they’ll offer you a discount if you can fork over the green.

If paying cash is an option for you, don’t be afraid to try it with every purchase…after you’ve already gotten a hefty discount, of course.  It’s easy, fast and fun DIY Discounting 101.

But what if you STILL can’t make the price work for your budget?

If you’re committed to staying in the budget you set…it’s time to move on, cowgirl.  You CAN and WILL find another vendor willing to provide what you want at the price you can afford.

Don’t let yourself get too attached to any one vendor.  There are a lot more fish in the sea.

The key to getting high-end wedding products and services at bargain basement prices is being committed to your budget…meaning you’re willing to walk away. That’s when the magic happens because you MAKE it happen.

Have you joined the ranks of the frugalistas?

The term frugalista began circulating last year.  Defined by the New York Times: a frugalista is a person who lives a frugal lifestyle but stays fashionable by buying second-hand, shopping for discounts, etc.

I hereby proclaim myself a frugalista and declare that I will stick to my budget without sacrificing my sense of style and personality.

Are you with me?

It’s more important than ever to watch your spending now with the economy showing little hope of a turn around any time soon.  But that is NOT…I repeat IS NOT…a reason to get “cheap.”  Ever.

A frugalista values her money and spends wisely on what is important to her.  She scrimps and saves, but only where it pays to do so.  She is NOT “cheap.”

A “cheap chick” seeks out and buys what she’s looking for at the lowest price.  Period.

This is not necessarily a good idea.  If you’re looking for a pair of flip flops for your bridal party to change into during the wedding reception, cheap is awesome.  After all, the flops only need to survive the night.

But if you’re entrusting your photography to a cheap amateur who may…or may not…capture those images that will be all you’ll have left of your day once it’s done…maybe not such a brilliant idea.

I turn to my savvy sister Ruth Mantell over at Marketwatch.com for some backup.  In her article, “When It Pays To Pay,” she points out the all important truth that it doesn’t always pay to pay less.  Tagging along on a few of her recommendations:

1) It Pays To Have Expert Advice.  One reason to hire a professional at your wedding is the knowledge they have as an expert.  They know the wedding business inside and out; they can help you save with ideas you’d never even think of.  So pimp out your experts!  They are worth their weight in gold.

2) It Pays To Pamper Yourself. Of course you want to trim your wedding budget…but allow yourself a little splurge now and then.  Build the Splurge Factor into your budget.  It will make you happy and keep you happily on budget.

3) It Pays To Pay Someone Instead of DIY. If you don’t have the time or desire to be crafty, don’t take on a complicated DIY wedding project.  Sure, it saves money…but do you really want to spend 16 hours sweating over your wedding favors?  If not, skip the DIY projects.

Sometimes it does pay to pay.  A frugalista is smart…not cheap.  Go for the best value, not just the best price.

NOTE: But don’t despair if you can’t find an option to fit your budget.  Make your own wedding discounts! Download my free Bride’s Secret Weapon special report to learn how to get a discount on ANY product or service for your wedding.

Got a frugalista experience?  Leave me a comment.

These trends are being reported by Christine, the ever-observant wedding diva behind The Wedding Dish, and GetMarried.com.

COLOR - Grey is definitely in, as are pale, watercolor versions of blue and green, chocolate brown and metal shades: gold, silver, copper, pewter.  (Lavender and soft pewter is a personal fave, by the way.)

CAKES - Rock sugar crusting and buttercream frosting instead of fondant.  Cupcakes are still extremely popular.  (Heck, I’ve been stuck on them since kindergarten.)

Manassas Cakery

SMALLER GUESTS LISTS - Smaller, more intimate weddings are becoming the norm.  Brides are inviting less people in order to spend more per person.

HOME WEDDINGS - Brides are hosting weddings on the home front.

CANDLE CENTERPIECES - Candles are rising in popularity as an elegant and cost-effective alternative to flowers.

Lindsey T

CEREMONY & RECEPTION AT SAME LOCATION - Savings are multiplied when brides host the ceremony and reception at the same location, cutting out transportation costs.

“RECYCLED” WEDDINGS - Buying used is en vogue.  Brides are shopping Ebay and bride resell sites like BrideToBride and RecycleYourWedding.

DESTINATION WEDDINGS ARE OUT - Brides are choosing wedding locations closer to home to maximize on savings and convenience.

BRUNCH, LUNCH & COCKTAIL WEDDINGS - As brides get creative with savings, we’ll see more and more brunch, lunch and dessert buffet weddings…the height of elegance and simplicity at a fraction of the cost.

What do these trends mean to you?

It’s more popular than ever to get back to budgeting basics.  Brides are even bragging about how little they paid.

But even more importantly…you have a license for creativity and flexibility.  To hell with tradition!  Make it your own.  Kick it up a notch with the inexpensive, easy ways to wow your wedding guests in The $10,000 Dream Wedding.

What 2009 wedding trends do you see out there?  Leave me a comment.

Carlos Mendoza Lima

There’s a new wedding trend rocking the wedding industry that I am very excited about.

Most brides have been paying 2-3 times MORE than they have to for the wedding of their dreams for far too long.  And finally…they’re fighting back.

Gone are the days of the Bride Wars.  No more petty competition, jealousy, or hoarding ideas and favorite vendors.

The recession is bringing brides together for savings. As you realize your power…the Power of the Purse, that is…you can band together with fellow brides to create your own wedding discounts and savings.

Here are some creative ways to use the internet to connect with other brides to help each other save:

Bride To Bride Boutique and Recycle Your Wedding - These websites allow brides to purchase discount wedding accessories from brides after their weddings, and resell their own items.  You can find wedding gowns, shoes, jewelry, vases, you name it.  

Trash To Treasure - Even the infamous Knot website is getting in on the act.  The “Trash To Treasure” board links to The Knot’s sister website, The Nest, where brides can list their discount wedding merchandise for resale.

Meetups - Why stop there?  With sites like this one it’s easy to create a local community of brides right in your neighborhood.  You can meet as a group and pool purchases that can be used again, like vases, baskets and accessories.  Heck, you could even barter for services.  A crafty DIY wedding bride could help you out with your centerpieces in return for the candy buffet jars from your reception.

It’s about time brides took back their power from a wedding industry out to rip them off.  Hallelujah!

QUICK NOTE:  If you’re sick of getting taken advantage of and overcharged by wedding vendors, download my free Bride’s Secret Weapon report to learn my method that will turn the tables on wedding vendors and let you create your own wedding discounts.

Got a story about how a bride helped you?  Leave me a comment.

According to these numbers, 78.53% of couples are paying for the wedding dress themselves. Gone are the days when Mom and Pop picked up the tab.  In fact, one of my brides pointed out that her parents specifically DID NOT want to pay for her gown.  “We think you should be paying for that, honey,” they said.

Another helpful stat provided by The Wedding Report.

Let’s focus on the positives, shall we?

1)  This puts YOU are in charge of the dress.  You get to spent what you want on exactly what you want.

2)  You get to be as traditional or non-traditional as you like…without getting flack from anyone else.

3)  The gowns discount available on a wedding dress is HUGE.  You can save up to 95% on a designers wedding gown.

“Woah.  Run that by me again, girlfriend.”

Yes.  You CAN save up to 95% on a designers wedding gown.

That’s a lot of money!  And because you’re paying for your dress, it’s up to you to find out HOW.

I’ve talked about some of the easy ways to save on your wedding dress here and here.

QUICK NOTE:  If you’re ready to learn exactly what to say and do to save the MAXIMUM on the designer wedding dress of your dreams…you owe it to yourself to read The $10,000 Dream Wedding.  And download my free special report, “The Bride’s Secret Weapon” to get an unfair advantage that will literally compel wedding vendors to give you discounts.  READ IT.